πŸš΄β€β™‚οΈ No-BS Cycling Commentary

Velochimp

Where lycra meets satire and watts meet wit

Unfiltered race analysis, pro peloton gossip, and the cycling takes your group ride wishes they had. We celebrate the domestiques, and explain why your local Fred is still faster than you.

Latest Video Rants

Hot takes, now in moving pictures

15:42

Why Pogačar is Actually Three Kids in Lycra

12K views β€’ 2 days ago
12:18

The REAL Reason Disc Brakes Were a Mistake

8.5K views β€’ 5 days ago
18:30

Breaking Down That Sketchy Sprint Finish

15K views β€’ 1 week ago

Meet the Chimp Behind the Keyboard

Four decades of racing, infinite hot takes

MP
40 Years Racing
1980s Started Riding
∞ Opinions

Marcello Prattico

Editor-in-Chief & Chief Cynic

When Greg LeMond was revolutionizing cycling with aero bars and questioning the old guard, a young Marcello Prattico was getting hooked on the sport that would define the next four decades of his life. The 1980s weren't just about questionable fashion choices and even more questionable training methods – they were the golden era that birthed a lifelong obsession.

Forty years in the saddle teaches you a few things: disc brakes are for people who can't corner, every group ride has at least three unwritten rules being broken at any moment, and the only thing more predictable than a sprinter's excuse is a climber complaining about headwinds on the flats.

From witnessing LeMond's Tour victories to watching the sport evolve through its darkest doping scandals and into the current era of marginal gains and $15,000 bikes, Marcello has seen it all. He's raced through the EPO era, survived the Lance years, and lived to tell tales about when power meters were considered cheating and Strava didn't exist to validate your suffering.

"I've been dropped by pros, amateurs, and once by a guy on a Citi Bike. Each experience taught me something valuable: mostly that I should have trained harder." - Marcello Prattico

Now, Velochimp serves as the outlet for four decades of accumulated cycling wisdom, questionable opinions, and the kind of commentary that gets you uninvited from industry events. Because someone needs to say what everyone in the peloton is thinking but won't admit on their carefully curated Instagram feeds.

πŸš΄β€β™‚οΈ Cat 3 Forever β˜• Espresso Snob πŸ”§ Own Mechanic πŸ“Š Watts Per Kilo Denier

🏁 Race Coverage

From Grand Tours to your local crit, we're watching (and judging) it all

πŸ’Š Spicy Takes

Honest opinions about sticky bottles, motor doping, and why disc brakes were a mistake

🍿 Drama Central

Team transfers, Twitter beefs, and why that sprinter definitely held the barrier too long