Tag Archives: Humor

Random Facts About Mike Jones

Walker Texas Ranger and Jack Bauer are tough guys, but they don’t race for HealthNet. Mike Jones is the toughest of them all, and to prove it “The Pros Stuff Gossip” pages has a list of Random Facts About Mike Jones:

When Mike Jones sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Mike Jones has not had to pay taxes ever.

To prove it isn’t that big of a deal to beat cancer. Mike Jones smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

Mike Jones sleeps with a night light. Not because Mike Jones is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Mike Jones.

Mike Jones ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Mike Jones can touch MC Hammer.

A blind man once stepped on Mike Jones shoe. Mike replied, “Don’t you know who I am? I’m Mike Jones!” The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Mike Jones.

Continue reading

Euro Style: Hair Wars

Fat Cyclist (via cyclelicio.us ) has a brilliant writeup on the latest Euro-style trend in hair. Jan Ullrich’s new hair cut and the Discovery Channel response:

“His curly, highly moussed locks clearly state, ‘I am the team captain. You must ride in support of me, and in support of my hair.’ I only wish that we had thought of this hair before last year’s Tour de France; perhaps we could have kept Vinokourov in check.

And he offers some insight into why Armstrong chose Ullrich to win the Tour instead of good friend Ivan Basso:

“I’m just glad that I’m retired,” said a concerned-looking Armstrong, pensively running a hand through his (rather pedestrian) close-cropped hair. “I mean, I’ve always said that Ullrich was my greatest opponent. With that new hairstyle, well, I don’t know.” Armstrong paused for a moment, weighing his words. “To tell the truth, I don’t think I could compete with that.”

Fat Cyclist: Pro Cycling Teams Unveil 2006 Hair Strategy