Velochimp: Astrochimp on Cycling

Weird prank that involves a regular cyclist being in the middle of a bike race.

Usually racers sail down the starting ramp on a TT. Sometimes if a rider is too concentrated on the effort they may forget simple things like going in straight line down the start ramp.

Worst Female Cycling Start Ever – Watch more Funny Videos

Hornman is my name for the superfan who runs along the peloton with a giant flag and huge antlers attached to a football helmet. He has been a busy guy at the Grand Tours running along side the peloton with his flag and holding the torch for a Lance Armstrong return which is now happening.

During the Vuelta Juan Antonio Flecha decided to interact with the fan and steal his flag. Perhaps Flecha was annoyed at John McCains perplexing stance on meeting Spanish President Zapatero. Or maybe he was getting annoyed at the guy with a giant flag running by the peloton everyday. Or maybe Flecha wanted to be a superfan for Lance Armstrong now that he is returning to the peloton. Either way it is an unusual highlight. Thanks to pezcyclingnews.com for the link.

Sometimes you want the thrill of speed without all of the effort to make the bike go fast. This video could be called “Silly Cyclist” or “Poor Man’s Wind Tunnel”. Not sure if this video is 100% real though.

Update
The video shows the magic of green screens and video editing.

Lance Armstrong and Dick Pound are on the list of Top 10 Manliest Names on Cracked.com. Here is Lance Armstrong’s analysis.

The Name:
It’s impossible to hear this name without picturing many men getting impaled on a battlefield. He’s got the lance, and he’s got the arm strength to drive it through you and the four guys standing behind you.

The Man:
Some will argue that we should have gone with the guy who walked on the moon instead of the guy who rides bikes for a living. But, come on. Neil? Please. Come back when you’ve got a man’s name, space cowboy.

Anyway, Lance got cancer in his testicle, abdomen, lungs and brain, and then, instead of curling into a little ball and giving the hell up like a lot of us might have, he beat the cancer (in our imaginations, with a hammer).

Then, he went on to win the Tour de France seven consecutive times. Nowadays, Armstrong is retired from cycling and does speaking tours and writes inspirational books which make us feel really inspired and happy, and then a little later as we microwave last night’s pizza and settle in to watch America’s Got Talent, really shitty.

Does He Live Up to It?
Lance doesn’t rank higher because, quite frankly, cycling just barely involves using your arms. So the Armstrong thing is kind of wasted.

The Only Way It Could Have Been Manlier:
Lance Legstrong? No, that’s more accurate, but also ridiculous. In fact, most of the names we came up with sound weird in English, like “Lightning-Legs.” But, maybe in another language … Babel Fish tells us “Lightning Legs” in German is “Blitzbeine,” and Lance Blitzbeine does have a nice ring to it.

Top 10 Manliest Names

It took twice as long to finish the Tour, but the first non-doping cyclist rode into Paris.

Finland’s Piet Kvistik, a domestique with the Crédit Mondial team, was this year’s highest-finishing non-doping rider (142nd overall). Kvistik claimed the maillot propre, the blue jersey worn by the highest-placed “clean” rider, on the ninth stage of the race when the six riders who had previously worn it tested positive for EPO, elevated levels of testosterone, and blood-packing.

“It became most difficult for us on the 7th stage, which was almost 200 kilometers and the first stage through the mountains,” Kvistik said while accepting the non-doping victor’s 100-franc check from his stretcher. “Not only did the excruciating pain and weakness in my legs make it difficult to walk my bike on the steeper stretches, it was mentally very hard to know that half the other clean riders were dead or dying. Also, the other 141 riders finished the Tour in Paris that morning, which made it all that much harder.”

read more at The Onion Thanks to Tim Bingham.

The Flight of the Conchords is a funny off beat show on HBO about a comedy Folk band from New Zealand. They are quite fond of their bikes going riding and in this video they are featured prominently with helmets and bikes.

The real reason Michael Rasmussen was dumped from the Tour? According to The Daily Show not only was he suspected of doping, he was also smuggling plums.

Musician Franck Lascombes has a video singing the praises of EPO. The video apparently is a big hit on Dailymotion.com.

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Thanks to a request from Bob of Big Horn Velo I made up some Simpsons likenesses of the Versus crew. Phil, Paul, Al, Bob Roll and Robbie Ventura too.

Phil Ligget

Paul Sherwin

Bob Roll

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